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I
wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police
were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
The
roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To
write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When
fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The
short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A
thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A
thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll
never run out of math teachers because they always multiply
When
the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
The
math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The
professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The
dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you
take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory
A
dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
What's
the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
A
bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
Time
flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A
backward poet writes inverse.
In a
democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that
votes.
A
chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
With
her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show
me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
When a
clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The
guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A
grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum
Blownapart.
He
broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A
calendar's days are numbered.
A lot
of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
A
boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had
a photographic memory which was never developed.
A
plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those
who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When
you've seen one big shopping center you've seen a mall.
When
she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers
trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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