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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

 

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

 

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

 

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

 

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

 

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

 

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply

 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.

 

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory

 

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

 

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)

 

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

 

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

 

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

 

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

 

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

A calendar's days are numbered.

 

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

 

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

When you've seen one big shopping center you've seen a mall.

 

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

 

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

 

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

 

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

 

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

 

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

 

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply

 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.

 

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory

 

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

 

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)

 

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

 

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

 

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

 

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

 

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

A calendar's days are numbered.

 

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

 

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

When you've seen one big shopping center you've seen a mall.

 

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

Acupuncture: a jab well done.